The last couple days have been tough for me. With Easter coming I wanted so much to build a memory with Kayla. I remember when I was growing up waking on Easter morning to find a basket that the Easter Bunny left for me. It has always been one of those things that I wanted to do for my child. The candy, a new toy... goodies that were presented on a bed of cellophane grass.
Money has been tight in our house. We scrape by, pay the bills, have a roof over our heads and food on the table. But, money for extras gets scare some weeks. That is the kind of week we are having. We always make it somehow, but when a tight financial week corresponds with a holiday the lack of funds in the bank is felt a little bit more.
I was feeling pretty down about the lack of an Easter basket full of treats for Kayla. In the back of my mind I kept trying to tell myself that it would all work out. I tried to surrender my wants to God, but kept feeling like what I was asking for was being ignored.
I know that Easter is about God's gift of his son Jesus, a sacrifice for our sins. I know that the true glory of Easter morning is found in His resurrection. I cling to that everyday of my life. But, like other holidays I wanted to create a full scope of memories for Kayla. I want her to know the love of God and what Easter means to us as His followers, but at the same time I want her to enjoy those other little things that also create childhood snapshots in our mental scrapbooks.
As I was worrying over an empty Easter basket, God had it all under control. He was providing. I was just too blind to see it.
I had mentioned to a coworker that I wanted to get K her first Barbie and put it in her basket. K has a few Barbies already, but they were mine. They weren't new. I wanted her to have one that was all hers. Wednesday, when I got to work, a new Barbie was sitting on my desk. My friend had one in her gift closet at home and brought it for Kayla.
I wanted to hide Easter eggs on Sunday, but even the thought of spending money on treats to fill the plastic eggs seemed frivolous. Yesterday I picked Kayla up from daycare only to find out that they did an Easter egg hunt with the kids. The eggs were in a bag, unopened. Joe mentioned that we could just re-hide them. At first I thought that to be silly, but the more I contemplated this I realized something. Kayla is a toddler, she didn't open the eggs, she doesn't know what is in them. She won't stop half way through a hunt on Sunday, look at me and say, "Um, Mama... I found these already."
Today as I was leaving my coworker mentioned to me that I should bring the Easter candy that she had in her jar home to put in K's basket along with a couple chocolate cookies.
When I dropped K off at my Mom's I broke down about the whole Easter thing. My Mom (who always seems to have an answer) went up the stairs of the townhouse. She came back down with a little bunny stuffed animal and a cute little Easter basket.
As I was driving home, I was still thinking about that silly Easter basket. What was I gonna do? All of a sudden it was like God hit me over the head and yelled, "WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME?" In a flash of understanding I found that the empty Easter basket I was dreading had been filled through the blessings of others. I was just too caught up in my own misery to see His blessings. The people in my life did not have to give these gifts, but they did. No one asked for something in return. They were gifts given freely.
That made me think more about the gift of Jesus and His death on the cross. God did not have to give the gift of salvation through the sacrifice of His son. But, He did. He gave. It is up to us whether we accept that gift. God's blessings are all around us.
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